He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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