I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
