after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
