hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
