Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
