Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
soo... how was my night?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
