peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
