I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
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