yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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