toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
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