absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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