I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
