I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize