TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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