That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
