big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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