you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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