but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
