I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
