I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
