Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
