Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
no you cant smoke seaweed
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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