Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
