okay pat passed out under dana's car
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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