I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
