I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
