I feel like abortions should bother me more
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
