I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
