Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Semen is not good for contacts.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Be still, my beating vagina.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
