went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
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I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
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Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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