Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
