i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I deserve this hangover.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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