all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
