Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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