I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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