if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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