when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize