I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Randomize
