do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
