I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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