I heard we made out
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
