You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
