i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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