Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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