Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
You are a genius and a whore.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
