Can Purell be used as lube?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
