he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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