why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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