All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
