I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
