i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
