Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Drunk is not a location!
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
