is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
