Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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