I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
