I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
