all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
