lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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