so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
