I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
