maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
