thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
